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The
False Guru Test
by Andrew Paterson
TAKE THE FALSE GURU TEST. If seven or more
of the following describes your guru or spiritual teacher, then
unfortunately he or she may not be as enlightened or good for
your soul as you would like to believe:
1. States his or her own enlightenment: The wisest masters
tend not to state their own enlightenment or perfection for they
know that it is both unhelpful to themselves and to their students.
The false teachers often make this claim because they have little
else on offer to attract followers.
2. Is unable to take criticism: False teachers strongly
dislike either personal criticism or criticism of their teaching;
they do not take kindly to ordinary unenlightened individuals
questioning them. They or their organisations will even undertake
multi-million dollar law suits to stop ex-members from spilling
the beans.
3. Acts omnipotently with no accountability: Some spiritual
communities are run like concentration camps, with guru and his
chosen ones acting like Gestapo officers. Unjust or outrageous
behaviour by the guru is passed off as what is needed to help
the followers grow (how kind). These are the dangerous gurus who
have often severely damaged their students. A real master respects
your will even if he or she understands that your particular decisions
may not be in your interest, and he or she will act accountably
to an ethical code of conduct.
4. Focuses on enlightenment itself rather than teaching the
path leading to it: It is amazing how much false gurus have
to say about enlightenment. They argue their points in the same
way that the scholars in the middle ages argued how many angels
could sit on the head of a pin. Any fool can talk about the end
goal because what is said is irrefutable to most of your listeners.
What is skillful is guiding those listeners to having awakening
within themselves. The real teacher focuses on the path and strictly
avoids any talk on enlightenment.
5. Does not practice what is preached: Contrary to spiritual
myth, you don't reach a point of realization whereby you can then
start acting mindlessly. If a teacher preaches love and forgiveness,
then he should act that way, at least most of the time, showing
suitable regret for any lapses). If he teaches meditation, he
should meditate. If he insists that his followers live in austere
conditions, so should he.
6. Takes the credit for a particular meditative or healing
technique: The fact is that meditation and guided visualisation
work. Anyone doing them will experience major changes, benefits
and realizations. The false guru will try to own or trademark
particular methods and techniques so that she has something unique
to attract followers. And she will hijack the effects of meditation
as the guru's blessing rather than each individuals natural potential.
Often the students or followers are forbidden from divulging the
techniques to maintain a sort of intellectual property right,
usually under the guise of needing the technique to be taught
correctly.
7. Specifically gives satsang or darshan when it is not part
of his culture: Darshan is when the disciples or students
of a master line up and to pass their master, who is usually seated,
with either a bow or traditionally kissing their feet (yes it
does happen). In the East, this is part of their culture and a
normal thing to do to show respect and reverence (even children
will kiss the feet of their fathers). However, here in the West,
such copycat behaviour is a strong indication that the guru is
acting a role. Satsang, on the other hand, means literally "the
company of the Truth". In a deeper sense it is an affirmation
of the Guru-Disciple relationship in Eastern traditions. But some
Western gurus will use this terminology because they are playing
a role.
8. Lives in total opulence: There is nothing wrong with
living in luxury or being wealthy. But when that luxury turns
to unnecessary opulence using funds that were not explicity donated
for that purpose then you are probably dealing with a false guru.
Money is collected from followers usually in the form of donations,
and those donations are given as an act of love, appreciation
and to help spread the influence of the master. However, a genuine
master is more likely to use such wealth to lessen the suffering
in this world, not to buy another yacht, private jet or Rolls
Royce.
9. Encourages or permits adoration from his followers: Avoid
any group that focuses on the "master" themselves rather
than the teachings or spiritual practices. This will be a hindrance
to your self-realisation for your focus will be drawn outside
of yourself, and usually indicates that there is not a lot more
on offer than guru worship.
10. Presents himself or herself overly fashionably and glamorously:
Beware of masters who present glamour photographs of themselves
and dress overly fashionably (whilst proclaiming that they have
no ego and leading ego-death retreats). Yes it does happen!
11. Demands love and devotion from their students: Keep
clear of any master who demands love and devotion. One very well
known Western guru stated, "Anyone who loves me is guaranteed
enlightenment"! Real love and devotion is earned over time
when we begin to really know the whole person and not their public
image.
12. Speaks with an Indian accent or vernacular when he is in
fact a Westerner: Not sure how much this happens now but there
are some high profile Western gurus who have (or had) Indian accents,
mannerisms and vernacular. Unless they have genuinely spent considerable
time in other cultures, they are probably playing out a role.
13. Runs expensive miracle workshops and courses: You are
unlikely to reach enlightenment after a few weekend workshops
with cheesy titles. In our society of "must have now",
we want to be able to purchase spiritual development with minimal
fuss. Also, avoid meaningless accreditation — it is often
used merely to encourage followers to do more courses.
14. Takes sexual advantage of his or her followers: This
happens much more than many believe. It is not being prudish to
include this one because when a follower falls under the spell
of a guru he or she is likely to do anything for the Chosen One.
It is only afterwards that it may dawn on the follower that his
or her openness has been used and abused. This can be very psychologically
scaring.
15. Flatters you and treats you as very special: Sure we
are all special in some ways, but this is one of the things that
a false guru may do to hook a potential follower or to get a current
follower to do a particular task. Nothing can be more intoxicating
to the ego than to be selected by the master or leader (or any
high profile person). A real master will stand back and allow
you to make your decision whether to accept his or her teachings
without trying to influence the process.
16. Talks bollocks: It is surprising what a person will
listen to when he or she is devoted to the speaker. It is always
a good idea to get hold of a written transcript of what has been
said and really read the message. Then tell an open-minded friend
who is not a follower what their opinion is purely on the strength
of the words. You will soon find out whether there is any real
substance to the teacher's message, or whether you are merely
being drawn in by the charisma of the messenger.
17. Overly relies on slick presentation: Slick presentation
can often mask poor content, and so it is important for you to
look past the lovely music and video shows at the actual message.
The slicker the presentation, the harder it is to see what eactly
the teaching is.
18. Gives him or herself outrageous titles: Not satisfied
by being "merely" an enlightened being, many false gurus
give themselves titles (or allow their followers to do so) to
indicate that they are literally God-Incarnate, the reincarnation
of the Buddha or Christ, or THE chosen one. Some continually change
their names, to keep pace with their burgeoning egos.
19. Runs abundance workshops: A guru or master is there
to help us find an authentic life. This is nothing to do with
becoming more successful at work or making more money, although
this may or may not follow from being more authentic. There is
nothing wrong with abundance weekends, but if we mistake spirituality
for increased business success, then we are guilty of spiritual
materialism and we find ourselves deeper in the illusion. (The
Japanese say that the Gods laugh at those who pray for money.)
20. Is not interested in you personally: If a teacher or
guru does not have time to interact with you personally, then
you may as well read his teaching from a book, because merely
being in his presence doesn't help you find realization inside
you. You may model some of his spiritual characteristics, but
that often only places you deeper in illusion.
21. Allows his followers to set up a hierarchy of access: A
guru must be accessible. If he is not, or if he allows his followers
to block your access, then he is playing the role of a king and
not a spiritual guide. A guru is only useful to the process of
awakening if you can directly interact with him.
22. Makes false claims of lineage: Many mistakenly believe
that realisation can only happen under the guidance of a realized
master. In this belief system, gurus are only authentic when they
come from a line or lineage of realized gurus. Desperate not to
be left out, some gurus claim a false lineage of enlightened masters
to bolster their authority to teach. Another pseudo form of "lineage"
is to recount a miracle that once happened to them (maybe they
cured themselves of some disease or God spoke to them personally)
which infers that they are "chosen" and therefore have
the authority to set themselves up as teachers and gurus.
23. Presents themselves as non-profit whilst raking in the
millions: Often, the false prophet will present her teachings
for free, whilst strongly encouraging her devotees to make large
donations. In this way she can appear above money considerations,
whilst maintaining her greed and opulence.
24. Collects a large band of angry ex-followers: This is
an indication that something is seriously wrong. If she has used
kindness and love in her interactions with her students, and has
discouraged them from projecting denied spiritual characteristics
onto the guru (rather than encouraging their integration into
the self), then it is extremely unlikely that there would be more
than a few disheartened ex's. Many might drift away and feel they
have wasted their time, but they are only likely to have the great
anger if they have put their teacher on a pedestal, given him
their power, and later realized that he was never worthy of such
adoration. Contrary to what some believe, it is actually the teacher's
responsibility to strongly discourage students from putting them
on pedestals, for this is counterproductive to finding realisation
inside.
25. Uses pseudo-technology: Many false profits and organisations
base themselves around pseudo-technology in the effort to appear
scientific — special meters, communication devices (do you
really expect the aliens to use a mobile?) and energy clearing
instruments and pendants that involve crystals and copper wire.
Once again, this is to distract the unwary from the poor quality
of the actual teaching.
26. Acts like a complete paranoid mad person: If your Precious
One acts like a complete paranoid schizophrenic or psychotic then
he or she probably is. Run! Remember that there is no such thing
as "crazy wisdom"—wisdom is the art of being balanced.
However charismatic they may be, and sane between moments of madness,
you WILL be damaged by them.
Realising Spiritual
Enlightenment - A Rough Guide
by Andrew Paterson
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