Food, Fun & Communication
Byron Bay Region

NVC is a communication process developed by Dr Marshall Rosenberg Ph.D. from the University of Wisconsin where he studied under Carl Rogers, a major proponent of Humanistic Psychology. NVC is based on a realisation that solutions to interpersonal problems tend to present themselves more readily if we aim to foster connection. The NVC LIVE Practice Group is an unusual opportunity to practice elements of NVC in a relaxed, convivial and fun environment.

Contact: nvcnorthernrivers@gmail.com




Authentic Empathy combines patient, open-hearted listening and the ability to stay with the feelings and needs of another - sometimes without words. We often feel a sense of connection, openness, expansion and relief in the face of genuine empathy.

To have clarity about the empathy experience, it can be useful to discern and recognise what is basically not quite empathy. The examples below suppose that your friend has offered you a chance to give her empathy – by making a complaint  (expressing her needs)!  In each example your friend's statement is followed by a somewhat less than empathic response.

"I wish my housemate would clean up after himself!"

advising: "Why not just leave a big mess for him one day, then he'll know what it's like?"
solving:  "Could you ask him to leave?
fixing:  "Come out for a drink with me and you'll forget all about the state of the kitchen!"
data-gathering: "Is it just in the mornings he doesn't clear up, or is it all the time?"
educating: "This always happens when you don't set clear boundaries with people!"
analysing: "Hmm.. is that he is always in a rush, or is that you're more fussy than he is?"
investigating:  "Why did you do that?  What made you feel that way?"
diagnosing: "You probably feel like that because your mother kept her kitchen spotless."

correcting:  "Well to be fair, he usually does."
explaining: "What actually happened and the way it was…"
counselling: "Repeated arguments can be a way of avoiding dealing with issues."
devaluing: "Isn't it a bit obsessive wanting to have things clean all the time?"
discounting: "It's not such a big deal, why don't you just chill out about it?!"

one upping: "That is nothing, Jim has not cleaned up even once in our household"
comparing: "You should meet my husband, he's far worse!"
story telling: "Yes, the same thing happened to me. This one time…"
criticising:  " Actually I never seen you wash up or clean up either."
blaming: "You should never have accepted him to move in."
judging:  "It was your fault, you were too slack."
sympathising: "Yeah, it's crap isn't it when someone behaves so unfairly."
pitying: "I feel so sorry for you."
consoling: "Never mind, no need to feel upset, he's going abroad next year."




ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:

Other NVC practice groups, Northern Rivers area


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NVC in Australia
NVC


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Centre for Nonviolent Communication

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BayNVC





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